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Thread: The one liners thread!

  1. #81

    Re: The one liners thread!

    There is one place in modern society where prejudice is not only accepted, but also expected.

    Pornography makes it okay to say that the only people you want to rise to the top of your expectations are young, untrained, Asian women, and that you have no interest in a single white, black, old or male person to fulfill the role of your interests, and that is absolutely, A-O-K.

  2. #82
    Poof make squid!
    Merrick ap'Milandra's Avatar
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    Re: The one liners thread!

    Eh. I dunno.

    My porn preferences change from day to day and hour to hour, but always lean heavily towards still photography.

    There are also times when I'll click on a single thumbnail, get over to the set of photos and go "Well, I can see why they picked that one as the link, she looks like she's pilled/stoned out of her gourd in all of the others. Probably was just to get through it, poor woman." which is a massive turn-off for me.

    I much prefer the "I'm doing this because I LOVE IT" look, but that'll typically transcend skin color, breast size, a fair degree of weight, and quite a bit of age for me, and just be dependent on what strikes my eye at the time.

    Over the past few years I've been drooling more at blondes more for some reason. Prior to that it was mostly brunettes, and waaay back in my junior high/high school years it was mostly redheads, for example, but of course back that far it was basically the Sears Catalog.

    Maybe it's like music.

    Some people really have a particular preference and others don't.
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  3. #83
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    Merrick ap'Milandra's Avatar
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    Re: The one liners thread!

    So someone said something that briefly reminded me of some ACTUAL one-liners I've heard over the years.

    Juvenile though they are (due to the fact that they're all about how often someone gets sexual pleasure of some kind) I thought I might share all of the ones I could remember.

    Insert gender pronoun of your preference at "*"

    * Gets more box than the Memphis FedeX Hub

    * Crashes the Crease more often than Gordie Howe

    * Tosses more salad than an Olive Garden Waitress

    * Pulls more tail than special needs kids at a petting zoo

    * Ploughs more beaver than a drunk riverboat captain

    * Spends more time on the mound than Rafael Betancourt

    * Taps more ass than an inquisitive midget

    * Gets more head than Michael J. Fox pouring a Guinness

    * Ploughs more fields than John Deere

    * Goes through more chocolate stars than Palmer's at Christmas

    That's all I can remember for now.
    For copyright purposes, all of my posts are covered under the "Do What The Fuck You Want To Public License"
    http://sam.zoy.org/wtfpl/
    Noone should sue or be sued ambiguously.

  4. #84

    Re: The one liners thread!

    Sit on the toilet for 10 minutes before getting in the shower, and nothing happens. Get out of the shower, and ten minutes later, I have to go sit on the toilet. TF is wrong with you asshole?

  5. #85

    Re: The one liners thread!

    I saw my mechanic at Starbucks, today. He gave me a pondering expression and asked me, "White Tundra, dinged passenger mirror?" a little embarrassed by that information, but he was right.

    Then my proctologist walk in behind him, and before he could recognize me, I poured hot coffee all over my face.

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