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Thread: The one liners thread!

  1. #61

    Re: The one liners thread!

    I appreciate deep conversations about shallow topics.

  2. #62
    hella Star-Demon :3
    MI Redeux's Avatar
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    Re: The one liners thread!

    Quote Originally Posted by Tinthalas Tigris View Post
    I appreciate deep conversations about shallow topics.
    apropos

  3. #63

    Re: The one liners thread!

    The guy who discovered milk must have been one weird fucking dude.

  4. #64
    Banjo Duellist, 8th Dan
    Silverblade-T-E's Avatar
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    Re: The one liners thread!

    Quote Originally Posted by Tinthalas Tigris View Post
    The guy who discovered milk must have been one weird fucking dude.
    Buhaha!

    My thoughts on such things is:
    Who first decided to circumcise themselves? like all they had was sharp stone, no pain killers and no antiseptics!!!!!
    and also, WHY THE FUCK DID OTHER MORONS DO IT TOO?!
    Just because Caveman Ogg decides to knap his knob, why the fuck would you want to as well instead of laugh at the nutter?
    like lopping a bit off yer dick is such a fun fun thing that everyone wants to join in!

  5. #65
    hella Star-Demon :3
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    Re: The one liners thread!

    Quote Originally Posted by Silverblade-T-E View Post
    Buhaha!

    My thoughts on such things is:
    Who first decided to circumcise themselves? like all they had was sharp stone, no pain killers and no antiseptics!!!!!
    and also, WHY THE FUCK DID OTHER MORONS DO IT TOO?!
    Just because Caveman Ogg decides to knap his knob, why the fuck would you want to as well instead of laugh at the nutter?
    like lopping a bit off yer dick is such a fun fun thing that everyone wants to join in!
    Male circumcision made sense back in the day, in the context of modern medicine and hygiene it has no practical value outside of when medically necessary. Outside of that it is simply cruelty in all cases. FGM has never had any credible justification for it though, and it is impossible to justify doing so until the heat death of the universe.

  6. #66

    Re: The one liners thread!

    New outlook on life.

    Instead of saying how many thousand dollars i make a year, im going to say how many dozen dollars i make a year, but pronounce it the same.

    I MAKE EIGHT HUNDRED DOUZEN DOLLARS A YEAR.

  7. #67
    Humble & proud of it!
    pseudo-intellectual elitist
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    Re: The one liners thread!

    How many dollars are in a douzen? :b
    /Users/davidyoung/WindowsDisk1/Documents and Settings/GreenSnoop/My Documents/Aennyil.png

  8. #68

    Re: The one liners thread!

    Take your normal number of dollars and divide by 12,but if you make too many douzens a year to properly speak it, express the number per a smaller, believable time frame.

    2douzen dollars an hour sounds very impressive, yet is believable when you say, "but I only work as much as o need."

  9. #69

    Re: The one liners thread!

    There was a time when Boheme and Rap City was my favorite band, even though the Wayne's World track was the only song I knew.

  10. #70

    Re: The one liners thread!

    The only beneficial thing with those blue toilet cleaners is teaching my kids the basics of color theory.

  11. #71

    Re: The one liners thread!

    Girls who won't take a cumshot to the face are real babies. So much so that they won't cry when they get Johnson and Johnson in their eye, but just one Johnson?

  12. #72

    Re: The one liners thread!

    Sometimes, the closest a man will get to feeling like a woman is in the experience of wearing a witty t-shirt.

  13. #73
    Poof make squid!
    Merrick ap'Milandra's Avatar
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    Re: The one liners thread!

    For copyright purposes, all of my posts are covered under the "Do What The Fuck You Want To Public License"
    http://sam.zoy.org/wtfpl/
    Noone should sue or be sued ambiguously.

  14. #74

    Re: The one liners thread!

    Perhaps the reason that some women are so enamored by men who vanish after one night stands during the stillness of sleep is due to their inherent ability to potentially move a sleeping infant without waking them.

  15. #75
    Buckeye Wizard
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    Re: The one liners thread!

    Quote Originally Posted by Merrick ap'Milandra View Post
    Thread winner!

    :-)

    Nerkahia
    Retired 85 Wizard of Ascentia, The Nameless

    "Maybe if the Republicanoids weren't snorting coke off oil execs dicks, we could have had less dependancy on oil by now!!" - Silverblade-T-E

  16. #76

    Re: The one liners thread!

    Sometimes terrible people say amazing things that almost anyone can agree with. That doesn't make the observer a terrible person, it just extends the notion that life is a quirky experience.

    “Life is like a mirror, if you frown at it, it frowns back; if you smile, it returns the greeting.”
    -Adolf Hitler

  17. #77
    hella Star-Demon :3
    MI Redeux's Avatar
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    Re: The one liners thread!

    Quote Originally Posted by Tinthalas Tigris View Post
    Perhaps the reason that some women are so enamored by men who vanish after one night stands during the stillness of sleep is due to their inherent ability to potentially move a sleeping infant without waking them.
    Dude, what?

  18. #78

    Re: The one liners thread!

    This is a 2 part relatable.

    Satire of leaving a woman in the night is that she wakes up because you pull your arm away.

    Same is true with a baby, but 2 fold. They go to sleep on you, and you put them down, and they wake up screaming.

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  19. #79

    Re: The one liners thread!

    Pink Shirts.

    I used to wear a pink shirt. My friends would always ask me about it. Why was I wearing it? I like pink shirts.

    Pink is the color of Breast Cancer Awareness. All men should wear pink shirts, pink ribbons, support the cause. Breasts are a wonderful thing. I don't want them to go anywhere. I want them to stay right here. Fuck Breast Cancer. I'd prefer to fuck breasts, but I'll Fuck Breast Cancer in the tits.

  20. #80

    Re: The one liners thread!

    Related note.

    Prostrate Cancer: Give it the Finger

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